FishIt's funny, the little things that mean so much. You don't even notice them until they're gone. One day you wake up and find the neighbours have chopped a branch from the tree outside your window. Suddenly you feel a little more alone. You step outside and notice a For Sale sign across the street - it's an old, shabby house and you know it's going to be knocked down by the end of the month. And it's that moment when you realize a part of you will topple with it. Faint, but alive, soon to be as spectral as the puff of smoke that drifts from a candlewick after the flame is blown out. A sliver of your spirit.Your sister kept goldfish once. The
I Will MarryI'll marry an intellectand we will have endless conversions into the night,exchanging profound words and infinite meaning,and we will windthe roots of lifetogether,and the universe will be ours.I'll marry a musician and we will serenade each other withwild harmonies and gentle melodies and our instrumentswill weave themselves with our bodiesand the future will become a symphony of swapping songs and singing ourselves to sleep.I'll marry a girland we will be more delicate than withering leavesand we will be extensionsof each other; one continuousriver of soft, whispering waterthat mirrors the pale sunset
funeralI did not speak at your funeral. Though you knew me as a writer I did not write a speech. On the way to the funeral I stood on my front porch and heard the copper leaves rustle anddecided that was enough. The wind spoke all that was needed from me.The others wore black and spoke black even though the words were light. I said nothing. I did notlaugh or cry. I heard jokes and happy memories but I thought they were dark. I could pour my memories into the empty air and whisper how something that created me was dead. I could murmur that nothing meant anything anymore because everything would
Favourite coloursToday I realized I didn't know your favourite colour, and it made me think of little children. They define the world so directly, and more importantly they identify themselves with the same simplicity. Simple, but certain. They label themselves by their favourite colour, their favourite animal, their dog's name, their siblings, the number of people in their family. And they're sure of each of these things and proud of them. They know they're unique, and they love themselves for it.Now I live in a world where I don't know any of my friend's favourite colours, or even my own. When did the clear become blurry, undefined? At what point did I cr
encore -Can't you see? He's falling in love with you.Don't you feel it the moment you fall away from the others, cackling and hooting ahead while you talk in shy voices. You can see it in the way his dark eyes hold the glimmer of the streetlights. You can hear it in his tone, which dances with a few extra inflections as it dares to think and hope. He doesn't want to fuck you mindlessly in the park ahead. He wants to kiss you one thousand times before he sees you naked. He wants you to raise his children and he's already holding them, now carrying them on his shoulders, now walking them to their first day of school. He loves them and he's proud of t
librarylibrary labyrinth, I watched the shelves dissolve into a maze;their walls a barrier thatI need,I seeherbetween books, and books, and paper;and words, they match her pupils;and letters, they warn me not to stare - I stare, she does not stare back and so it's back to pages and shelves and ancient papers of olden days, their flavours wave beneath my tired nose my wakeful nose my warybreath my open mouth my beating heart my beat.ing.heart.myheart it courses through my skin I feel it pulsate;escape toshelves - they creak like cages; between bars between books I see her feathery waves theycrash on barren
syntheticthey won't let me slip my tiny toesbeneath the waves, they won't let me sinkbeneath the surface, sliding through water as if i were drifting through glass.they won't let oceans wash above me, they won't let schools of fish pick the thoughts from my bones.they won't let the roar of the river wash the nightmares from my mind.they will letshafts of sunlight sear my skull,let its rays swim across my irises.i wish it pierced my skin instead.They won't let mepaint with metal bristles that glintlike fish scales,they won't let me smear the aurora across my arms -upside down, dipped in hell.they won't let it
lethargyI'm holding on to lethargy,and we are ashes in each other's arms.and can you see your charsreflected in my eyes?dusty orbs of crumbling lies.I cannot hear your heartbeatbecause mine is still as stone;I wish you heard me moan likethe cries of limpid ghosts, butthey mourn the deadand I deceased for youtoo long ago.
ten daysyou offered your hand and i pushed it a-way,though you know all i wanted was for you to save meand i guess you did, but there 's no.room.left.foryou;her nails around my heart, if i move i bleed .
The bridgeon the bridge.There's a boy on the bridge and he's moving away from you. Five seconds ago your eyes had met and sapphire irises aflame, he fled like hunted deer. A painful escape on hateful hooves. Twenty seconds ago you saw him and your eyes shone with life. Ten seconds from now your eyes will dim and they will look like burnt gold, metallic and icy. If he looks behind him he will see his glassy reflection and he might see a demon where you see an angel.on the bridge.You're on the bridge and you're moving away from me. You're leaning against the railing and the rusty metal itches your skin like dead cacti. You're a desert. You're pulli
A hospital For a moment you found it hard to believe there was a girl under all those sheets. They were ruffled like a fallen wedding dress and were as chaotic as a shattered window. The hospital room was a light blue, lit by the window at the far end of the room. The room was decorated with instruments, devices and wires you didn't understand. You didn't want to know what they meant. Didn't want to realize they were the gateway from death into life. A weak, hoarse voice spoke. "Hi." It was as pitiful as a puppy drenched in rain and equally helpless. "Hi," you spoke in reply, your words unstable. "I can't see you well. I heard you come in..."
DocklightsEvery day, something new seems to assault me with a new challenge, or a new message, which pushes me a little farther from understanding the truth. Sometimes I think there is no truth. There is no answer, at least, and I think I like life best that way.The moment I saw you I couldn't turn away. I was a fish fixated on a dock light in the middle of the night, and nothing could pull me away from it's invisible hold. Something changed in your presence and suddenly I forgot where I was, who I was. Some powerful tsunami had swept through the room and everyone else had taken the warning and fled. But I hadn't. My curiosity and something else beam
SlaughterIn uneasy silence and fading darkness,you slaughtered me.Locked between my fears and ambitions,you lured me from my mind and plunged me into paradise,where I was falling faster and could not stop,not even when I began to catch fire.I needed to scream but your presencehushed me and compelled me to laugh, to groan, to grinand somehow my breath could not keep up withthe rest of my panting body.And my racing heart rocked every bone, every jointuntil I should have turned awaybecause the flames that enveloped me were growing too bright and too painful.But oh, the pleasure of such pain.I never wanted it to stop